Brat Camp Update - A Family Transformed

When Poppy, 15, went off to Aspen Achievement Academy to participate in the UK television reality series Brat Camp, the rest of her family felt as if their lives were on hold. Six months and a few television film crews later, family life is back to a new-and-improved definition of normal.

With a weekend job, a role tutoring younger students at her school and her work towards the prestigious Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award, Poppy is leading a full and healthy life, according to her mother Jane. "Not to say that home is perfect, but the resources and tools Poppy learned because of Aspen now enable her to control any anger she has," Jane explains.

Since Poppy's return in mid-October, her parents say life has been much more relaxed and that communication between all four family members (including Poppy's younger brother Max and her father Bjarne) has been stronger than ever. "The first couple of weeks were like treading on glass," admits Jane. "Because your child has been through a life-changing experience and you can't expect them to come back into the family and not be different, but as the trust grows and the rewards kick into play, everyone's confidence grows."

Jane cites the Family IQ work the family completed while Poppy was away as an essential component to the entire experience. "The [exercises] from Family IQ were brilliant. They were very funny and absolutely common sense, and they were delivered in a way that made them absolutely enjoyable," she says.

"We found it very helpful to have to analyze our family dynamics and to look at our individual character strengths and challenges. It also helped us understand how we react in certain situations and how we respond to each other when we are under pressure." It's this kind of understanding, according to Jane, that has helped each family member learn to genuinely listen and respond to one another in a constructive, positive way.

Likewise, the maturity of Poppy's communication skills has significantly improved her relationships with her father, brother and even her friends. "Poppy is a very different person now," says Jane. "And a lot of that is the maturity and understanding she learned at Aspen. She thinks about the reasons people behave the way they do and her relationships are much more positive now."

The family is the first to admit that learning positive, open communication and negotiation skills hasn't been easy, but commitment and practice have made things much easier. So has the realization that, as Jane explains so insightfully, "personal behavioral change has to happen within the child herself." The trick, she says, is allowing that change to continue but changing yourself.

And as much focus as that might take, the rewards of Poppy's ongoing success far outweigh the effort.  "Brat Camp was a fabulous experience for Poppy," says Jane. "She went into it knowing it was going to be hard for her and she went knowing that it would be the biggest challenge of her life. Knowing what she knows now, I asked her whether she would do it again and her answer is without a doubt. It is an experience she will take with her through the rest of her life."